Growing up, you might have heard:
- “You need to respect authority.”
- “Stop questioning everything.”
- “You have an attitude problem.”
- “Just do what you’re told.”
Maybe you didn’t understand why certain rules existed, why adults expected obedience without explanation, or why speaking up led to backlash. Maybe you got in trouble for challenging authority when all you were doing was trying to understand.
If you’re Black and autistic, struggling with authority figures is not just a you problem. It’s a society problem, one shaped by racism, ableism, and cultural expectations that have made navigating authority more complicated than it should be.
Why Do Autistic People Struggle with Authority?
Autistic brains process rules, fairness, and logic differently. Many of us struggle with:
- Blind obedience – We need things to make sense, not just “because I said so.”
- Inconsistencies – If a rule applies to one person but not another, we notice.
- Power dynamics – We question authority, not out of defiance, but because we value logic over hierarchy.
- Unspoken rules – We don’t automatically recognize social expectations that others seem to follow instinctively.
This can lead to conflicts with teachers, bosses, law enforcement, and even family members. But for Black autistic people, these struggles are magnified by racism and anti-Black bias.
How Anti-Black Bias Makes It Worse
Black people, especially Black children, are often expected to be more obedient, mature, and controlled than their white peers. If a Black autistic child questions authority, they are more likely to be:
- Labeled as “defiant” instead of neurodivergent
- Punished instead of supported
- Seen as aggressive instead of curious
- Treated as older than they are (“adultification bias”)
In schools, Black students are more likely to be suspended, expelled, or criminalized for behaviors that would get white students a warning or a conversation. If a Black autistic child struggles with authority, they are often seen as a threat rather than a child in need of understanding.
Common Authority Struggles for Black Autistic People
1. Questioning Rules and Expectations
- What happens: You ask, “Why do we have to do it this way?” or “That rule doesn’t make sense.”
- How it’s perceived: Disrespectful, challenging, rebellious.
- Reality: You need logical explanations, not power plays.
2. Standing Up for Yourself
- What happens: You call out hypocrisy, advocate for fairness, or challenge mistreatment.
- How it’s perceived: Aggressive, “talking back,” having an attitude.
- Reality: You value justice and don’t blindly accept unfair treatment.
3. Struggling with Tone & Expression
- What happens: Your tone may sound blunt, monotone, or unemotional even when you mean no harm.
- How it’s perceived: Rude, cold, dismissive.
- Reality: You’re communicating naturally, but people misinterpret it.
4. Having Sensory Reactions That Get Misread
- What happens: Loud voices, flashing lights, or aggressive tones trigger anxiety or meltdowns.
- How it’s perceived: Non-compliance, “freaking out,” losing control.
- Reality: Your nervous system is overloaded, not intentionally defying anyone.
5. Authority Figures Misinterpreting Stimming or Shutdowns
- What happens: You stim (rocking, tapping, fidgeting) or shut down instead of responding immediately.
- How it’s perceived: Disrespect, ignoring instructions, refusing to comply.
- Reality: Your body is self-regulating, not resisting.
How These Struggles Impact Us
When Black autistic people are constantly misunderstood by authority figures, it leads to:
→ Fear of speaking up. You might hold back questions or concerns because you expect backlash.
→ Masking and suppressing your reactions. You learn to shrink yourself to avoid punishment.
→ Hypervigilance. You become constantly aware of how you’re being perceived.
→ Workplace struggles. You may avoid advocating for yourself at work out of fear of being labeled “difficult.”
→ Mental exhaustion. The constant effort to “get it right” takes a toll on your mental health.
How to Navigate Authority as a Black Autistic Person
While we can’t control how others perceive us, we can develop strategies to protect ourselves and advocate effectively.
✓ Pick Your Battles Wisely
Not every situation requires a fight. Ask yourself: Is this worth my energy? What outcome do I want?
✓ Use Clear & Direct Language
Sometimes, authority figures respond better to neutral, fact-based communication. Instead of “This rule is unfair,” try, “Can you help me understand why this rule is in place?”
✓ Know Your Rights
Whether it’s school, work, or law enforcement, understanding your legal rights can prevent authority figures from taking advantage of power dynamics.
✓ Find a Support System
Having allies (online support groups, friends, mentors, advocates) can help you navigate authority figures safely. You don’t have to handle every challenge alone.
✓ Practice Self-Advocacy in Safe Spaces First
If you struggle with confrontation, practice standing up for yourself in environments where you feel safer. This builds confidence for harder situations.
✓ Prioritize Self-Preservation
Sometimes, the best response is protecting your peace. If an authority figure refuses to see your perspective, disengaging may be the safest option.
If you’ve struggled with authority figures, you’re not the problem. The problem is a world that prioritizes power over fairness and obedience over understanding.
Your questions, your advocacy, and your boundaries are valid. You deserve to be heard, respected, and supported.
As always… take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know that you are not alone in this journey❤