Meltdowns and shutdowns aren’t just something autistic kids deal with, they happen to adults, too. The difference? Most of us have been conditioned to hide them.
Maybe you’ve felt the heat rising in your chest, the noise in your head getting louder, your body tensing up, and your emotions hitting like a tidal wave and suddenly, you’re either exploding or shutting down completely.
The world expects us to be calm, in control, and rational at all times, but autistic brains don’t work like that. When we reach a breaking point, our nervous system takes over and no amount of “just breathe” or “calm down” is going to stop it.
So instead of pretending meltdowns and shutdowns don’t happen, let’s talk about how to manage them in ways that actually help.
What’s the Difference Between a Meltdown & a Shutdown?
✔ Meltdowns = Fight Mode
- Outward reactions: yelling, crying, pacing, stimming aggressively, snapping at people.
- Feels like a loss of control, like you’re stuck in an emotional storm with no way out.
- Often triggered by sensory overload, emotional distress, or frustration building up over time.
✔ Shutdowns = Freeze Mode
- Inward reactions: going silent, zoning out, feeling disconnected from your body.
- Feels like your brain is shutting off to protect itself from too much stimulation.
- Often triggered by stress, exhaustion, or overwhelming emotions you don’t know how to process.
How to Manage Meltdowns & Shutdowns in the Moment
✔ Step 1: Get to a Low-Stimulation Environment
- If possible, remove yourself from the triggering situation before reaching full meltdown/shutdown.
- Find a quiet, dim space or use noise-canceling headphones to block out excess input.
✔ Step 2: Engage in Regulating Sensory Input
- Meltdown: Use grounding techniques: deep pressure (hugging yourself, weighted blanket), cold water, or rhythmic movements.
- Shutdown: Use gentle stimulation: soft textures, slow movement, or calming sounds.
✔ Step 3: Don’t Force Yourself to “Fix It” Immediately
- Trying to rationalize, explain, or suppress the meltdown often makes it worse.
- Instead of fighting it, let yourself ride the wave… your nervous system will reset on its own.
✔ Step 4: Build a Post-Meltdown/Shutdown Recovery Plan
- Recovery is just as important as prevention… you will be emotionally & physically drained afterward.
- Hydrate, rest, do a comforting activity (listening to music, watching a familiar show), and let yourself process without guilt.
Meltdowns and shutdowns aren’t failures, they’re your brain’s way of saying “I’ve had enough.” The goal isn’t to stop them completely (that’s unrealistic), it’s to understand them, manage them, and give yourself the compassion you deserve when they happen.
As always… take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know that you are not alone in this journey. ❤