If you’ve ever tried following a self-care routine that felt more like a chore than actual rest, you’re not alone. Many of us were never taught what self-care actually means, just that we’re supposed to do it.
For autistic people, the typical advice of “take a bubble bath, light a candle, and journal your feelings” often doesn’t cut it. Self-care isn’t about checking off a to-do list… it’s about meeting your needs in a way that actually restores your energy.
So let’s break down how to build a self-care plan that works for you.
Why Self-Care Looks Different for Black Autistic People
✔ We Were Taught to Prioritize Others First
- Many of us were raised in environments where rest was seen as laziness and overworking was praised.
- We might feel guilty for putting our needs first but self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
✔ We Experience Unique Layers of Stress
- Racism, ableism, sensory overload, masking, financial stress: it all adds up.
- Many self-care lists don’t consider how draining it is to exist in a world that constantly misinterprets us.
✔ Traditional Self-Care Advice Doesn’t Always Fit Our Brains
- Not everyone enjoys journaling, spa days, or group activities.
- Some of us find rest in special interests, routine, or quiet time alone. That’s valid, too.
How to Create a Self-Care Plan That Works for You
✔ Step 1: Identify What’s Draining You
- Are you burned out from socializing, sensory overload, work, masking, or emotional stress?
- Knowing why you’re drained helps you choose the right type of self-care.
✔ Step 2: Find What Recharges You
- Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. Think about what actually makes you feel refreshed, not just distracted.
- Some ideas:
- Sensory-friendly self-care: weighted blankets, soft textures, dim lighting, noise-canceling headphones.
- Social self-care: spending time with a close friend, texting instead of calling, or setting social boundaries.
- Restorative self-care: deep pressure stimming, watching comfort shows, lying in silence.
- Mental self-care: organizing your thoughts with lists, scheduling decompression time, setting reminders.
✔ Step 3: Make Self-Care Accessible
- If self-care feels like another task, simplify it.
- Keep fidget tools, snacks, or water nearby so you don’t have to think about it when you’re drained.
- Use apps, alarms, or visual cues to remind yourself to check in with your needs.
✔ Step 4: Set Boundaries Without Guilt
- If certain people, environments, or commitments drain you, it’s okay to say no.
- Give yourself permission to rest before you crash.
✔ Step 5: Adjust as Needed
- Self-care isn’t static… what works today might not work next month.
- If something feels off, tweak your routine until it feels right again.
Self-care isn’t about doing what works for everyone else… it’s about doing what works for you.
Your needs matter. Your energy matters. And you deserve care that actually feels good, not forced.
As always… take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know that you are not alone in this journey. ❤