Rejection hits different when you’re Black and autistic.
✔ You might have spent your whole life feeling like you don’t fit in at school, at work, in social spaces, or even in your own family.
✔ You might have been left out, misunderstood, or told you were “too much” or “not enough.”
✔ You might fear rejection so much that you avoid putting yourself out there at all.
But avoiding rejection comes at a cost. You end up shrinking yourself, masking even more, and feeling lonelier than ever.
So how do you break free from the fear of rejection? How do you learn to accept yourself, even when others don’t? Let’s talk about it.
Why Rejection Hurts So Much for Black Autistic People
✔ We Grew Up Feeling Different
- Many of us spent childhood feeling like outsiders, even in our own communities.
- Other kids called us weird, awkward, too quiet, or too intense.
✔ We Were Taught That Being Ourselves Wasn’t Enough
- Many Black autistic kids are raised with strict expectations about how to act, talk, and exist in the world.
- If we didn’t fit the mold, we were told to “fix it” instead of being accepted.
✔ Rejection Sensitivity Is Real
- Some of us experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which makes rejection feel like an emotional gut punch, even when it’s unintentional.
- Even a small sign of disapproval can trigger intense anxiety, sadness, or self-doubt.
✔ Masking & People-Pleasing Made It Worse
- Many of us adapted by masking: hiding parts of ourselves to avoid rejection.
- The problem? It’s exhausting, and it makes us feel even more disconnected from who we really are.
How to Overcome Fear of Rejection & Build Self-Compassion
✔ Step 1: Recognize That Rejection Isn’t Always Personal
- Not everyone will understand you… and that’s about them, not about you.
- Some people reject what they don’t understand or aren’t open to learning about.
✔ Step 2: Accept That Rejection Will Happen… And You Will Survive It
- Rejection hurts, but it’s not the end of the world.
- The people who truly matter will see and accept you for who you are.
✔ Step 3: Challenge Your Inner Critic
- If rejection makes you think “I’m not good enough” or “Nobody likes me,” stop and ask:
- Would I say this to a friend who just got rejected?
- What if this rejection wasn’t about me at all?
- What does this situation say about them… not me?
✔ Step 4: Find Safe, Supportive Spaces
- Not everyone will accept you, but that doesn’t mean no one will.
- Seek out communities where people celebrate your neurodivergence instead of questioning it.
✔ Step 5: Learn to Validate Yourself Instead of Relying on Others
- Instead of chasing external approval, start asking “Do I like who I am?”
- Practice affirming yourself:
- “I am worthy of love and acceptance, exactly as I am.”
- “Rejection does not define me.”
✔ Step 6: Stop Masking for People Who Won’t Accept You Anyway
- If someone only likes you when you’re masking, they don’t like the real you.
- The people who are meant to be in your life will accept you without conditions.
Rejection is painful, but it doesn’t have to control you.
✔ You are not for everyone—and that’s okay.
✔ You don’t have to shrink, change, or mask to be worthy of love and respect.
✔ The right people will accept you exactly as you are.
As always… take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know that you are not alone in this journey. ❤